Hello hello,
This last week has been pretty tough. A lot of different stuff going on... many distractions... not much homework has been done, I can tell you that.
Monday was normal. I bought a pretty ring after school and am wearing it right now. However, I walked around all Tuesday with it on the fourth finger of my left hand, and only realised after I got home :P. Someone told me that's bad luck, but I am not superstitious in the least, which is kind of strange. I am really into fantasy books, so you'd think that I would have more of a supernatural turn of mind, but I'm not supernaturally inclined in that way. Other ways, of course. But not superstitious.
Tuesday wasn't that bad, but I must admit that I am having a difficult time concentrating in school because all I can think about is the book. Don't think I don't know how unhealthy that is. I do know. And I am disgusted with myself. That won't stop me, though, from still obsessing. I really do know how unhealthy it is. I manage to suppress it enough to function moderately normally. But a lot of what I say just runs right back around into the book.
Wednesday. Todya was hardest of all. Today I got the news. Charlotte's aunt has died of cancer. I have met her, and she was a completely lovely woman. I am very, very sorry for my dear friend. She doesn't deserve this, and I feel so badly for her family. I actually did not know that she died until I came home and checked my email. Charlotte did not say one single thing in school, even though it happened last night. I am going to be there for her. She was hit harder then me with the obsession, and now she has this on top of being a good student, daughter, and friend. She has asked me to stop sending her links to whatever I find about the book, and I will comply. I just can't imagine how incredibly hard life is for her, so I will do what I can to help. I hate feeling helpless, and that's how I feel now. I know that I can't say "It will all be ok." I have never said that before. I find it extremely condescending and downplays the person's grief or stress. I am trying as hard as I can to be there when she needs me. I will keep trying. That is all I can do... and it infuriates me. I hate being helpless.
As well, in English class today we started talking about true love. Not surprising, but when asked, most of our class doesn't believe in true love. I don't think I do. Or rather... not for me. I am not looking for sympathy. Please, don't feel bad for me. I just don't believe that there is a guy sitting out there LOOKING for me. Or even just WAITING for me. I just can't see that. I put on a good show--I often seem like I have high self-esteem. But I just can't see anyone being in love with ME. It seems probable for�a lot of my friends, but... Maybe this has something to do with the fact that I do not know ONE COUPLE who seems to fit the generally accepted definition of true love. That doesn't help. But...
And so I am not in such a good state. I wish I were. I will stop complaining now and go away. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I will bring something for Charlotte. Not sure what.
Wait-- tomorrow, better? I have History. There goes my day.
Ugh. Pessimism. I piss myself off.
~Annabel
黄山纪行
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��� 已过不惑之年, 居然还是未见黄山的绝世峥嵘, 觉得十分对不住自己. 山东火车出事和安徽闹肠病毒的坏消息并没有动摇我们对圣山的向往, 陈家三浪人不顾五一假期旅游拥挤的现实, 听从理想的召唤, 跳上了通向黄山的夜车.
� �下了火车, 我们没急着上山, 先驱车来到了距黄山市25公里的歙县, 牌坊群, 鲍家花园, 江南第一村, 呈坎古村 (八卦村) 就呈现在我们眼前了. 临街高墙上的小窗户和祠堂正中高悬挂的大匾额, 徽派建筑的巧妙防火设计和窄街的拐弯抹角, 这些都是正宗徽州文化的物化.
� 棠樾古村女祠里的一个断横的 ‘我’ 字, 引起了我的深思, 导游姑娘告诉我们, 真正的徽女为家庭要付出到忘我的境界. 也许在当时的经济条件下失小 ‘我’ 成全大 ‘我’ 是已婚徽州女人的唯一出路. 徽州穷, 男孩到了十四五岁就被往外一丢, 靠忠孝节义的信念在世间闯荡. 在众多匾额中我们发现了 ‘敦本堂’和 ‘彝伦攸叙’, 敦敦赶紧为自己的大名小名的词源正身, 立在匾额前合影. 晚上我们品尝了地道的徽菜, 石鸡石耳很是鲜嫩, 毛豆腐的滋味也特别.
� �第二天一大早, 天清气爽, 乘太平索道从后山上山, 我等把行李放到西海饭店, 就直奔新开发的梦幻景区, 西海大峡谷, , 我们沿着山岩石阶走进峡谷, 山涧里的各种树木和怪石构成梦幻般的世界, 偶见的粉红色和白色的野花在险峻的山石中从容地绽放. 最令我崇拜的是屹立在山石上的黄山松, 它是靠根部分泌液体酸蚀岩石中的矿物质作为养分, 黄山松的挺拔是来源于骨子里石头的坚强性格. 无论走到哪个山弯处, 都有松树在向你打招呼.
��� 在一整天的攀峰走岩后, 我们天黑前要赶到丹霞峰看日落. 在快爬到峰顶时我体力到了调整的关口, 走几个台阶就得停上一停, 凭经验, 我知道惟有咬牙坚持才能熬过去, 敦敦的成长和敦爹娘的退化交叉进行, 精神十足的敦敦先是抨击老妈犯懒, 后来也发现老妈实际上是外强中干, 这次敦敦的体力明显超过爹娘, 不但要背行李, 还要时不时停下来招呼落队的老娘.
� 第三天爬光明顶和炼丹峰时, 我的呼吸和心血管系统开始适应了, 下山时我俩腿越走越轻快. 告别迎客松和送客松, 乘玉屏索道下山时我已经不觉得累了. 爬黄山是体力较量也是超级享受. 三天黄山游不够, 我们决定下次换个季节再来.
� 黄山不能用 ‘美’ 来形容, 我们回上海的软卧车厢里有一个日本游客, 虽中文词汇不灵光, 但他用了 ‘伟大’ 这个词来形容黄山, 你别说, 人家这形容词用得还真挺靠谱的.
in a good mood right now. sike!!! right now i'm horrible. i'm in my pj's right now. and you might want to be suscribed to my journals cuz they'll be full of juicyness. well today was awesome and quite funny. it turns out my friends admirer follows her aroud like a stalker. sound like true love don't you think? but my friend doens't like him. and that dude thinks of banging her every 10 sec. that's hilarious!!!! lol.anyways,� does anybodyknow what lint licker means? i mean is it a licker of lint? is it an offense? whenever i hear this i'm like wtf? and what's with, the orbit commercial? what the hell!!!
about 2 hours ago my dog was hit by a car, and i feel as if it was all my fault for not paying more attention.. Samson(my chiuahua) is now dead because i wasnt responsible enough to keep him out of the street, as he followed a man who was running.. my boyfriend michael was coming around the corner walking back from work and he got samson to stop and turn and go tword the house.. just then an suv turned the corner and samson was still running, the next thing i knew samson was lying dead in the street.. there was no yelp of pain.. he just lay there lifeless in front of me, blood coming from his fragile little body.. i could have prevented it.. My brother and michael got a shovel and got him out of the road and burried him in the back yard.. my mom went and took hot water to the sterrt to wash away the blood.. all this happened in front of me as i cryed in hysterics as to what had just happend.. that is all i can type right now!~
well josh and i are no longer together, as of like over a month ago.. he cheated on me and it ended pretty badly..
I HATE ALLERGIES!!!
I don' t even actually have them! I just have allergies like symptoms! I know it sounds odd but thats the diagnossis.. .. diagnostic.. .diagonally.. ..
So my drawing abilities have gone through the roof. Or... thats what my mom says. I believe my drawings have made a great improvement since I started to take drawing seriously. I'll scan some more of my work in on the computer and put it on victoriousmaiden.deviantart.com .My book isn't getting anywhere though because my writer (my sister) isn't writing it because she wants to hang out with her boyfriend. How self-centered is that?
So I watched the movie ACROSS THE UNIVERSE and I freakiing LOVE IT! The music is arranged differently but not too different so that we don't know what the song is.
If anybody who is reading this a Beatles fan, WATCH THE MOVIE!
Thats all for now I guess.... Bye
�}Y{- Nichelle
Hiiii :D
May 05, 2008
Today I put 3 items on my “to do” list.� These are things that in the past I said I did not have time for because I was too busy working.� Well guess what – I’m not too busy working now!� So this morning I got up and went to Church Service at St Theresa’s Catholic Church here in Mooresville.� They hold daily mass at 9 am.� It was similar to going to mass during the week in Athens, there were about 20 people there and the mass lasted about 20 minutes and I was at least 20 years younger than anyone else there.��� Later in the day I took care of another item on my list.� I went to a local gym and signed up for a 7 day free pass.� Thought I would check it out before I commit to an entire month of exercising.� Went to an evening yoga class.� It was great, the instructor actually gives everyone a little facial massage at the end of the class.� I struck up a conversation with a gal named Crystal.� Turns out she works for a company called MMI, Motor Management Incorporated.� They manage about 25 NASCAR drivers like Tony Stewart and Matt Kenseth.� I am looking forward to getting to know Crystal and more about MMI!!!� I guess it’s an incentive to go to Yoga.� 2 items down, 1 to go.
Alright people. Im not that girl that spills her heart out all over the floor for people to play in the puddle. about 99% if not 100% of my entrys will be set to private... Sorry. Sad to say that my life really 'isnt' ..an open book.
*Jinx
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